last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
