i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
