JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
