you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize