We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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