i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
