I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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