Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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