is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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