HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
