Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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