On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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