what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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