This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
