She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize