I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
high people should be assigned attendants
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
