I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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