please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
