He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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