You work out of a Hotel?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
