Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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