I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
