Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
