Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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