it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
