oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
