she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
