I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
