I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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