I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's shark week go big or go home
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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