Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
