remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize