There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
