Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize