I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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