Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
