I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
