I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize