if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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