He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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