u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
