nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
