The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
