I've blown a few things in my day
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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