Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
