Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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