why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
