honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize