I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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