1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
