whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
