i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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