Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize