My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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