I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
