He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
