Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
