you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
