I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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