What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
